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Welcome to the CMWF Blog! We hope you'll find some encouragement and comfort here through stories of military life and truth from God's Word.

Psalm 139: Search My Heart

 A little over a year ago my husband left for two months of training. We’ve been together for years and living without him provided new challenges for me, like how to sleep in an empty bed, how to make meals for one, how to laugh and how to talk through my day. I felt an emptiness without his presence.


Within a week I was lonely. Although I was surrounded by friends and family, nothing could fill the void my husband left. I was desperate for comfort but was reminded of Psalm 139. My anxious heart found comfort as I prayed the words of the Psalm,


“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (23-24).


This prayer is a constant reminder to stay grounded as I strive to please to God while facing the challenges of missing an absent husband. The loneliness I felt afforded me the opportunity to dig deeper into God’s word.


The Psalmist exudes love for God and praises His companionship in verses 4-6; “Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.” As I missed my husband and the way we would finish each others' sentences, I learned to recognize that my Father God is always present and knows my sentences before I even think them! Although this was knowledge I already had, the Holy Spirit comforted me by bringing it to my remembrance when I needed it the most.


Aside from working and spending time with family, I dedicated our time apart to God. I sought to build a more firm relationship with Him by putting Him first in every situation. Psalm 139 encourages a dialogue with God, a conversation about the ways that He loves me and is always with me, constantly encouraging me to draw closer to Him. During a season when I needed God the most, I found Him through His word and His precious thoughts of me (17).
In retrospect, as I think about the time apart from my husband, I realize things were not as gloomy as they seemed. As we prepare for another separation from each other as well as the support of friends and family, I am thankful I have God as my light for whom, “even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you” (12).


What actions, thoughts or behaviors in my life may be “offensive” to God?
How can I pursue a stronger relationship with God every day?
Do I prioritize other people or things above God in my life? How? Why?

Pray the words of the Psalmist today as you go about your day, inviting Him into all the things you are doing:

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.



Mary Parker is an Air Force wife who works as a public relations writer. A South Carolina girl at heart, she and her husband have recently relocated to Fairbanks, Alaska. Mary spends her spare time honing exercise and cooking skills, and is a self-proclaimed DIY addict. You can read about how faith and hope shape military family life, and check out Mary's latest projects, at Mary's Mischief.