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We are moving to a new (big) city in three months, and I’ll be a belly-swollen, bone-tired toddler mama desperate for roots and community and weeks away from giving birth. But still, I’ll be on my knees, all gratitude for the gifts, and the steadfastness of a Father who shows no shadow of turning from me. Sisters, in seasons of difficulty, how can you be thankful?
Molly Huggins is an Army bride, one-time helicopter pilot, compulsive writer, friend seeker, and lover of color and all things textile. Her current occupation is ringmaster of the Huggins family circus (party of five). She has a B.A. in English from Covenant College and a passion for meeting other women right in the middle of their own messy stories. Pull up a chair at her virtual beat-up kitchen table, listen to her stories, and maybe even tell her yours.
by Brandis Trionfo
One of the biggest changes in perspective I've had has been changing the way I thought of military spouses. I'll be honest--when I got out of the military and became a military spouse, I didn't have the highest respect for spouses. The only real interaction I'd had with them was when they came through the gate to show me their IDs, and often, it wasn't a pleasant experience.
I learned pretty quick after I got out that it was probably MY attitude that was making the experience bad and that military wives are a pretty strong bunch. We handle deployments, PCS moves, TDY's, smelly laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. etc, all without batting an eye and usually with only one hand. Oftentimes there's a baby on the hip taking up the other hand!
God poked and prodded me a lot to change my opinion.
Once I found Him, I found comfort in a few spouses who truly had so much to offer I think I learned more about military life through them than I did in my ten years of active duty service!
If it hadn't been for one of them, I may not be where I am today. If it hadn't been for another, I'm not sure I'd have worked through the issues my marriage faced. And if not for another, I'd have never learned how important and lasting our friendships really are.
As a military spouse, I've formed unlikely friendships that will stand the test of time.
I've become friends with people I wouldn't have ever thought to be friends with before, and it's so rewarding to know, at the end of the day, that not only is friendship vital, it's biblical. God lays something on our heart when he gives us a friend--and we military spouses are lucky to have each other--because there will come a time when we'll really need one another.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 tells us:
"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down, his friend can help him up."
See, once God gives us these friends, it's important that we're there for them!
Friendships are so very important. I'm thankful to have found friends who mean so much to me, and even more thankful to know that God has given them to me.
My perspective of military spouses has changed so much in the last few years because I've seen firsthand how hard it can be, but also how rewarding it is. With this, I urge you to reach out to another military spouse! Maybe there's someone in your husband's squadron or unit who seems like she might need a friend? Or maybe she's like me, and she might not seem too friendly or too keen on the idea of being friends with other spouses? Chances are she's afraid and she doesn't know how to approach other spouses. Maybe you keep seeing that mom at the playground but you don't want to step out of your comfort zone to say hello? Give it a chance! We all need friends.
Father, I thank you for friendship. I thank you that sometimes the friends we make truly become our family and in times where we aren't near family, we're able to stick by those who have walked our path with us. I thank you that you choose the people we need in our lives and give us what we need exactly when we need it. I pray that we're able to forge new friendships with even the most unlikely of people in an effort to draw closer to you. In your name I pray, Amen.
Questions for reflection:
1. Is there someone I can reach out to today?
2. What is God laying on my heart in regards to friendship? Is there someone I need to call? Someone I need to forgive?
Brandis is a former Sailor turned Air Force wife, a stay at home mom to 3 kids, and a lover of rustic country decor. She misses the Navy almost daily but is so very thankful for the time she gets with her family, dogs, & friends living near the beach. She occasionally blogs but mostly forgets at Anchored in the Air Force Life.
Do you remember the Sesame Street song, "That's about the size, where you put your eyes, that's about the size of it"? It's a song all about perspective based on what our eyes are focused on. It's a great teaching tool for little ones, and it can be a reminder to us big ones as well!
Our perspective is based on where we put our focus. If we are focused on the One who loves us and has a unique and exciting plan for each of us, our perspective will be a good one. If we are focused on our circumstances, our perspective tends to be clouded by discouragement and a sense of being overwhelmed.
My prayer is that this space will be where you will find strength and encouragement to place your focus where it ought to be. May God bless you as you seek and follow him.
by Chantal Graupmann
Thankfulness is on my mind as the calendar month changes from October to November. As the holiday rush begins, it is easy to lack true gratitude while we go about our merry way of checking off items on our to-do list. Our lives become so cluttered and busy it can be a challenge to stop and remember God’s plan and all he has done and continues to do in our lives. In the midst of military life, we are often dealt circumstances that (if we allow) can rob us of our thankfulness. It is not always easy to be thankful for God’s many blessings when a loved one is away for the holidays or we are in a new place without familiar comforts, family, and friends. True feelings of gratitude stem from our deliberate perspective on thankfulness. Psalm 24:1 reminds me that I need to put God at the forefront of my thoughts:
“The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it.”
If my mind is not focused on God and his blessings, I will be thankless. As I look toward the busyness of the holiday season I wonder how I can foster a right perspective.
How can I be sure to be full of thanks when it is so easy to choose otherwise?
1. Spend time with the Lord
This is always the easiest way to correct our thoughts and perspective. God has given us the gift of prayer and supplication for a reason! This tool is always available to us, yet we often do not use it as we should. Ask the Lord to help you in this area; He will show you exactly where you should be placing your focus. 2. Meditate on Scripture There are many passages in scripture that can help us to understand gratitude on a deeper level. Psalm 24:1 is helpful for me, but another scripture may be better suited to you. A simple word search can help you find these passages. 3. Keep a journal Write a daily list of things you are thankful for. The ability to look back and recall reasons to be thankful can be a helpful reminder on the hard days when gratitude is lacking. I pray that each of us takes the time to remember the true gifts and blessings we have been given by our Creator. As the hustle and bustle of the season gets underway, take time to seek Jesus. A deliberate perspective of thankfulness will make the season all the more rich and full.
Chantal Graupmann is an Air Force wife and mother to two children. She is striving to serve women in the midst of motherhood and military life, and is passionate about building community. She loves finding time for DIY projects, experimental cooking, and travel.
by Chantal Graupmann
When I first became a military wife I expected that I would automatically become the well-known stereotype of the “military spouse.”
This is the spouse who volunteers on a weekly basis for squadron AND base events, the spouse who has the uniforms crisply ironed, the spouse who stands strong and keeps the home without fear or discouragement in the face of deployment or temporary duty, and the list goes on.
I moved to our first duty station with the image of the ideal military spouse in mind, and then once I got there I slowly started to realize such a woman does not exist! And how could she?! I laugh now, knowing it was silly of me to think so. Yes, each and every one of us may embody one or two of the items on the list of “ideal” spouse but none of us alone can possibly do ALL those things.
As my perspective on the life of a typical military family changed, I began to understand in more depth the passage of Romans 12:6-8:
“We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.” (NIV)
How refreshing to hear that I do not have to do everything, or be the “ideal” military spouse, but instead can act upon the gifts that God has already bestowed on me. I can have joy, peace, and confidence to fulfill my role as military spouse and I do not have to become a different person or put on different hats to fill all the roles I hold in this life.
There is balance in knowing I am not expected to do everything! I love that I can come back to this verse in Romans and be reminded of this when I am feeling overwhelmed and overcommitted because I have forgotten God’s truth.
by Mary Parker
If there’s a phrase that has always peeved me when others say it, “It is what it is” takes the cake! The writer in me hates the undefined antecedent. All of me is disturbed by the concept that although something is not right, not good, or in some other way displeasing, we must accept it without trying to change it. Something I’ve learned through a core value in my home church and my walk with Jesus is that growing people do, in fact, change.
Although my wedding day is filled with beautiful memories, I’m happy that my marriage continuously changes for the better, rooted in discipline and intentional improvement. On our wedding day, our marriage wasn’t where it needed to be – Will and I were intrinsically selfish people not yet sure how to navigate the world as a dynamic duo. We could’ve simply thrown our hands in the air during our first marital conflict and muttered, “It is what it is,” but we decided to fight for one another, not against one another. To fight for the vows we made to God and one another in front of our family and friends. To fight for a love we believe in, and want to learn more about. There have been times since then where it could have just been easier to quit rather than adapt, too. TDYs, last minute changes in plans, challenges in seeing family and feeling stranded in the Arctic wilderness (strictly hypothetical, obviously), for example. But we adapt and seek God’s will in all circumstances, aware that His will won’t always match our plans. Paul writes in his letter to the church in Rome,
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2).
Father, thank you for the blessings you have shown me in this life. I pray you will supply the strength to help me make changes in my thoughts toward others – help me to be more pleasing to you and love others more fully. Show me your will so I may obey any changes in my life and marriage you are asking of me. Help me to live for you today and every day. Amen. Questions for Reflection:
*What changes can I make to improve my attitude today? *How can committing my perspective to be more pleasing to God affect my thoughts, behavior, and relationships? Mary Parker is an Air Force wife who works as a public relations writer. A South Carolina girl at heart, she and her husband have recently relocated to Fairbanks, Alaska. Mary spends her spare time honing exercise and cooking skills, and is a self-proclaimed DIY addict. You can read about how faith and hope shape military family life, and check out Mary's latest projects at her blog, Mary's Mischief.
The butter dish.
It's a simple yet useful tool every kitchen should have, and we have never owned one. This little fact drives me crazy. I cannot count the number of times I have noted that I need to buy one, but for some reason or another, a butter dish is never purchased. Instead, our butter gets placed in a bowl, on a plate, or sometimes even stays on the counter in its wrapper. This seemingly small annoyance irks me in a big way, as I constantly waste time and energy as I move the butter around the kitchen because the container is too large, takes up an awkward amount of space, or it makes a mess.
Yet, isn't that a picture of how our lives can be? We sit, day after day, knowing that a small change can make a big difference in our lives. Yet we move this or that, avoiding the real problem.
James 4:8 states: "Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you."
Our family is about to experience our very first deployment in a matter of just a couple short weeks. Not only that, but my husband and I have been making some decisions about the way we want our life to look, the way it should look, as followers of Christ. Talk about big changes.
These things, these important things, have been in the back of our minds for some time now. However, just like the butter in our kitchen, we have failed to address the small change that can make such a huge impact in our lives.
The simplicity and usefulness of James 4:8 bores into my heart: “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.”
All we must do is draw near!
My countless hours of worry, of looking for answers, of outright avoidance have all been a waste of precious time. If I simply seek God, he will be my source of all comfort and he will guide me in the right direction with his constant presence and conviction.
This truth helps me stay calm in the midst of all the change happening in our lives. I have found that taking even 5 minutes in the morning to seek God makes a huge impact on my attitude and my perspective throughout the day.
Questions for Reflection:
*Are you willing to make a small change in your life and draw near to God?
*What are some practical ways to "draw near" to Him?
Chantal Graupmann is an Air Force wife and mother to two children. She is striving to serve women in the midst of motherhood and military life, and is passionate about building community. She loves finding time for DIY projects, experimental cooking, and travel.
It is often better not to get the dangerous details until they are home safely. I am challenged by your perspective to let the danger and the risk move us to gratitude. Great post.