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Welcome to the CMWF Blog! We hope you'll find some encouragement and comfort here through stories of military life and truth from God's Word.

Why I Don't Feel I Have to Do it All
Why I Don't Feel I Have to Do it All

​by Chantal Graupmann

When I first became a military wife I expected that I would automatically become the well-known stereotype of the “military spouse.” 

This is the spouse who volunteers on a weekly basis for squadron AND base events, the spouse who has the uniforms crisply ironed, the spouse who stands strong and keeps the home without fear or discouragement in the face of deployment or temporary duty, and the list goes on. 

I moved to our first duty station with the image of the ideal military spouse in mind, and then once I got there I slowly started to realize such a woman does not exist! And how could she?! I laugh now, knowing it was silly of me to think so. Yes, each and every one of us may embody one or two of the items on the list of “ideal” spouse but none of us alone can possibly do ALL those things. 


As my perspective on the life of a typical military family changed, I began to understand in more depth the passage of Romans 12:6-8: 

“We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.” (NIV)

How refreshing to hear that I do not have to do everything, or be the “ideal” military spouse, but instead can act upon the gifts that God has already bestowed on me. I can have joy, peace, and confidence to fulfill my role as military spouse and I do not have to become a different person or put on different hats to fill all the roles I hold in this life. 

There is balance in knowing I am not expected to do everything! I love that I can come back to this verse in Romans and be reminded of this when I am feeling overwhelmed and overcommitted because I have forgotten God’s truth.

Chantal Graupmann is an Air Force wife and mother to two children. She is striving to serve women in the midst of motherhood and military life, and is passionate about building community. She loves finding time for DIY projects, experimental cooking, and travel.

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