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Welcome to the CMWF Blog! We hope you'll find some encouragement and comfort here through stories of military life and truth from God's Word.

How My Perspective on Military Wives Has Changed
How My Perspective on Military Wives Has Changed

by Brandis Trionfo

One of the biggest changes in perspective I've had has been changing the way I thought of military spouses. I'll be honest--when I got out of the military and became a military spouse, I didn't have the highest respect for spouses. The only real interaction I'd had with them was when they came through the gate to show me their IDs, and often, it wasn't a pleasant experience.

I learned pretty quick after I got out that it was probably MY attitude that was making the experience bad and that military wives are a pretty strong bunch. We handle deployments, PCS moves, TDY's, smelly laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. etc, all without batting an eye and usually with only one hand. Oftentimes there's a baby on the hip taking up the other hand!

God poked and prodded me a lot to change my opinion. 

Once I found Him, I found comfort in a few spouses who truly had so much to offer I think I learned more about military life through them than I did in my ten years of active duty service! 

If it hadn't been for one of them, I may not be where I am today. If it hadn't been for another, I'm not sure I'd have worked through the issues my marriage faced. And if not for another, I'd have never learned how important and lasting our friendships really are.

As a military spouse, I've formed unlikely friendships that will stand the test of time.  

I've become friends with people I wouldn't have ever thought to be friends with before, and it's so rewarding to know, at the end of the day, that not only is friendship vital, it's biblical. God lays something on our heart when he gives us a friend--and we military spouses are lucky to have each other--because there will come a time when we'll really need one another.  

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 tells us: 

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down, his friend can help him up."  

See, once God gives us these friends, it's important that we're there for them!

Friendships are so very important. I'm thankful to have found friends who mean so much to me, and even more thankful to know that God has given them to me.  

My perspective of military spouses has changed so much in the last few years because I've seen firsthand how hard it can be, but also how rewarding it is. With this, I urge you to reach out to another military spouse! Maybe there's someone in your husband's squadron or unit who seems like she might need a friend? Or maybe she's like me, and she might not seem too friendly or too keen on the idea of being friends with other spouses? Chances are she's afraid and she doesn't know how to approach other spouses. Maybe you keep seeing that mom at the playground but you don't want to step out of your comfort zone to say hello? Give it a chance! We all need friends.

Father, I thank you for friendship. I thank you that sometimes the friends we make truly become our family and in times where we aren't near family, we're able to stick by those who have walked our path with us. I thank you that you choose the people we need in our lives and give us what we need exactly when we need it. I pray that we're able to forge new friendships with even the most unlikely of people in an effort to draw closer to you. In your name I pray, Amen.

Questions for reflection:

1.  Is there someone I can reach out to today?

2.  What is God laying on my heart in regards to friendship? Is there someone I need to call? Someone I need to forgive?

Brandis is a former Sailor turned Air Force wife, a stay at home mom to 3 kids, and a lover of rustic country decor. She misses the Navy almost daily but is so very thankful for the time she gets with her family, dogs, & friends living near the beach. She occasionally blogs but mostly forgets at Anchored in the Air Force Life.

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