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Welcome to the CMWF Blog! We hope you'll find some encouragement and comfort here through stories of military life and truth from God's Word.


Changing What "It Is"
Changing What

by Mary Parker


If there’s a phrase that has always peeved me when others say it, “It is what it is” takes the cake! The writer in me hates the undefined antecedent. All of me is disturbed by the concept that although something is not right, not good, or in some other way displeasing, we must accept it without trying to change it.

Something I’ve learned through a core value in my home church and my walk with Jesus is that growing people do, in fact, change.

Change can be hard, but necessary. 

Although my wedding day is filled with beautiful memories, I’m happy that my marriage continuously changes for the better, rooted in discipline and intentional improvement. On our wedding day, our marriage wasn’t where it needed to be – Will and I were intrinsically selfish people not yet sure how to navigate the world as a dynamic duo.

We could’ve simply thrown our hands in the air during our first marital conflict and muttered, “It is what it is,” but we decided to fight for one another, not against one another. To fight for the vows we made to God and one another in front of our family and friends. To fight for a love we believe in, and want to learn more about.

There have been times since then where it could have just been easier to quit rather than adapt, too. TDYs, last minute changes in plans, challenges in seeing family and feeling stranded in the Arctic wilderness (strictly hypothetical, obviously), for example.

But we adapt and seek God’s will in all circumstances, aware that His will won’t always match our plans.

Paul writes in his letter to the church in Rome, 

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2).

Change can be hard, but beneficial.

The world tells us to be mad when others hurt us. To react when we’re angered. To show hostility toward our enemies. Learning from Jesus’ examples in life has helped me shift from bitterness toward others to forgiveness, from frustration to acceptance, and sometimes even joy and peace over things that were once aggravating (loud chewing for instance). 

These heart changes, however small, create shifts in our thoughts, which result in behavior modification, “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” (Luke 6:45b).

It’s a daily commitment, but I’m learning to rely on God’s strength to make changes in my life so I can ultimately be more pleasing to Him and, honestly, be a more pleasant person to be around.

As for challenges in marriage, often posed by the military, seek God’s will as husband and wife, open to change, and work toward a daily-renewed union.

 

Father, thank you for the blessings you have shown me in this life. I pray you will supply the strength to help me make changes in my thoughts toward others – help me to be more pleasing to you and love others more fully. Show me your will so I may obey any changes in my life and marriage you are asking of me. Help me to live for you today and every day. Amen.


Questions for Reflection: 

*What changes can I make to improve my attitude today?

*How can committing my perspective to be more pleasing to God
affect my thoughts, behavior, and relationships?


 


 

Mary Parker is an Air Force wife who works as a public relations writer. A South Carolina girl at heart, she and her husband have recently relocated to Fairbanks, Alaska. Mary spends her spare time honing exercise and cooking skills, and is a self-proclaimed DIY addict. You can read about how faith and hope shape military family life, and check out Mary's latest projects at her blog, Mary's Mischief.




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